(A version of this blog first appeared as an article on my Substack account - Notes by Leah Bugg, you can follow along here https://substack.com/@leahbugg).

The Two-Year Wobble: Surviving the Messy Middle of Homeopathy School

My feed has been full of new students signing up for homeopathy school for the first time, and it's so exciting. Others have recently gone back to class to start a new school year.

I miss that feeling of starting a new semester and knowing wonderful new information is ahead. This time of year also takes me back to a little feeling in my stomach.

The two-year wobble.

I'm fairly sure I didn't coin that phrase, but it fits exactly how the messy middle of my training felt.

Why I Said Yes to Homeopathy School

When I first started, I was so excited. Signing up wasn't a decision I had to think about. Homeopathy called and I answered.

I had faced my own physical and mental health struggles postpartum and seen the results of this gentle modality for myself. Saying yes was easy. Studying has been an absolute feast for me for almost seven years. I'm a lifelong learner, still early in my practice, and I have loved every part of it.

Year One: Seeing Remedies Everywhere

In year one we began learning the polychrests. Something happens at this stage. You start seeing remedy patterns in everyone you know. There's a high energy to it. You feel ready to solve everyone's problems, and you believe you can.

Then year two hits.

Year Two: When Overthinking Takes Over

The assignments get more complex, and if you're like me, the overthinking begins.

I remember my very first chronic case assignment. I repertorized the paper case, and the obvious remedy came up right at the top. Then analysis paralysis took over. I chose a completely different remedy, one we didn't learn until much later in school. It hadn't even made my top ten. I dug so hard into what I thought the case was about that I missed what was sitting right in front of me.

Toward the end of my second year, I started realizing how much I didn't know. Our professors taught us the stages of learning. You begin in unconscious incompetence, and the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know. That second stage is conscious incompetence.

For me, that middle space was the two-year wobble. It's the feeling in your stomach when the real weight of helping people heal sets in. I would catch myself thinking, "I don't know if I can do this. It feels so much bigger than I can handle. I don't know enough. Maybe if I just did one more course, learned one more remedy."

Year Three: Real Clients, Real Nerves

By year three I started my acute internship and began working with real clients. That first case was terrifying. Over the course of the internship I moved back and forth between fear and excitement.

After completing the internship and 350 hours of observing live chronic clinics, I said yes to my first supervised chronic client. I had such a deep desire to do a good job and help my clients feel better. I still want that with every case, and I still get nervous.

Then I said yes to another case before I felt ready. The rest is history.

The Quiet Shift

Somewhere between year three and year four, something shifted. As I took on more cases and submitted documents for supervision, the format and process we'd been taught started to feel familiar. I began seeing real results with some of my clients.

I still got scared. Some cases needed a lot of talking through with my supervisors because I wasn't getting what the case was about. Being asked the hard questions shaped me. It pushed me to think more critically and work through cases in different ways.

What the Hard Cases Taught Me

Looking back as a qualified practitioner, I've learned far more from the cases that didn't go well than from the ones that did. Case management is a huge skill, and the bumpy cases are where confidence grows.

You don't need to hold four thousand remedies in your head or know exactly what to do at every corner. You need to know your tools and trust your learning. Trust your client and their ability to lead you. Follow the method and principles you were taught. Most of all, trust yourself.

If You're in the Middle Right Now

So much energy in homeopathy goes toward the excitement of starting school or the celebration of graduating. I see those of you in the middle.

If you're in the thick of your studies and feeling nervous and wobbly as you head back to class, that's normal. Being a homeopath is a big job. It's a privilege and a responsibility. It's incredibly rewarding and humbling, and at times magical and frustrating all at once.

Why Rubric Wise Exists

Rubric Wise was born from the messy middle. It's the place of still figuring things out on the way to becoming a better practitioner for our clients, and a walk alongside you in your own study.

I don't have all the answers. I've been in the student's seat recently enough to remember what matters and where we get stuck.

I'm building a pathway that meets you wherever you are in the process. Before your first class back, find your stage on the WISE Pathway. Explore the WISE Pathway here https://rubricwise.com/the-wise-pathway

Stay curious.

Leah Bugg, LHP, CHP